155 – Marcia

My name is Marcia Jean Terpstra and I am an incest survivor.

I have spent all my life not understanding what had happened to me. I lived all my life without a soul of my own. As a child and into my teens, I rocked most of my life away. All my choices seemed to be stripped from me. I lived paralyzed in my rocking chair.

I felt so screwed up and detached from all of mankind. I did not know the emotional and psychological damage done to me in that first moment of incest; nor how long it would last in my life.

I thought that what happened to me was “child’s play”. In the sickness of it all I joked and even bragged about how good I had gotten and how I had mastered my craft. Then one day it hit me and I began to weep.

Suddenly, everything about my life began to make sense. I began to make sense of all my disconnectedness; my life of living in the spirit and living in the flesh, but nothing in the middle. There was nothing about my soul.

I got angry and began to fight the best way I knew how; I would write of the horrors of my incest. This was my story but I began a fight for any child who had survived sexual abuse of any kind. I had to do my part to STOP IT! I had to help the children.

I wrote this book of deep and unbearable pain that lived within me all my life. I wrote “Splinters from my Rocking Chair”. Yes, there was healing for me as I wrote but my greater purpose was to write, so that when I am gone; it will remain.

I wanted to tell the world what sexual abuse does to a child’s soul; and that for so many, their souls are lost forever. I went on a mission to leave my mark. I had to tell the world they could no longer hide from the damage they were doing to our children. And that, no, it is not just a simple touch of the flesh!

I pray my story will touch the hearts of many; the victims, the perpetrators and all those who may be even thinking of committing such a crime against a child.

And to you survivors; God bless each and every one of you!