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The Foundation currently is financing two survivors through their healing journey.  Check back often to see how the Let Go...Let Peace Come In Foundation has made a difference in the lives of these survivors.


Paige (Montgomery County, PA) PDF Print E-mail

 

I am a survivor of child sexual abuse perpetrated by someone who was considered to be a close family friend.  When my family found out on the night it happened, some of them decided to still remain friends with the man who admitted to violating me, provided he would seek mental help for his perpetrations.  For years the effects of the abuse damaged not only my relationships with family members, but also created a lasting impression that adversely shaped my behavior toward and interactions with others. Thirty years later, one day my brother was in a business meeting with Peter S. Pelullo and they started talking about Pete's foundation and his memoir depicting his own experience with child sexual abuse.  It was then that my brother mentioned to Pete that something similar happened to me as a child and that I was still struggling to find peace and recovery.

 

Graciously Pete offered to speak with me personally about what he and the foundation could do to help me begin my journey of healing.  After our initial conversation Pete suggested that I meet with Annie Fisher at the Starting Point in Westmont, New Jersey.  Since Annie's office was some distance from my home, Pete even offered to drive me there himself.

On the day of my appointment I was distraught and didn't want to go.  Starting therapy with a new clinician is scary in the best of circumstances, but my fears were compounded that day by torrential rains and storms that turned our ride into what would become an 10 hour adventure.  Through all of my pleas for Pete to turn back he remained a constant at my side and helped me get through that first appointment.

 

After meeting Annie I really liked her and it was clear to me that she genuinely understood where I had been, where I was at, and where I needed to go to move forward.  We worked together for several months and I was able to make some real progress with her help including reducing my dependence on prescribed medications that had put me into a fog.  Thanks to Annie I am now able to recognize my self-depreciating behaviors and I am beginning to repair relationships and reintroduce trust in places that I thought had been lost forever.  I am also learning the value of truthfulness in relationships and how in order to maintain trust everyone needs to be honest about their expectations and feelings.  Annie was also able to show me techniques that I can use to calm my nerves when I experience stressful situations. 

 

Unfortunately I reached a point in my journey where I could no longer make the trip across state lines to visit Annie at her office.  At first she generously offered her services to me via a few phone appointments, but we both realized in order for me to be successful in my recovery journey I needed to speak to a therapist on a face to face basis because therapy is about healing as a whole individual, not just parts.  Annie spoke to Gretchen at the Let Go... Let Peace Come In Foundation on my behalf and together they worked to identify a qualified therapist who was closer to my home.

 

When Gretchen contacted me with the information about the new therapist I was anxious about having to tell my story to a "new" person, but Gretchen had already spoken to the potential therapist about my situation and she told me that Anna, the person she and Annie identified to help me, was very willing to speak with me over the phone before fixing an appointment.  When I spoke to Anna she was kind and understanding and so we agreed to meet for a first appointment.

 

On the day of my first appointment I was terrified and having a panic attack about going to meet with Anna and having to relive and re-tell her about the horrific things that had been done to me as a child.  I called Gretchen and she calmly took the time to talk to me about my anxiety and she put me at ease by letting me know that because I had given permission to both Annie and Anna previously they had actually already collaborated about my history and that I didn't have to tell more of my story than I was comfortable with during the first appointment with Anna.

 

After that initial visit with Anna my fears began to subside.  I realized that thanks to a conversation my brother had on the golf course with Pete I was now connected with a wonderful group of caring people who were dedicated to helping me begin my journey to heal.  I am so grateful to have found the support provided by the Let Go... Let Peace Come In Foundation, Pete, Annie, Gretchen, and Anna as I continue on a path of recovery and move toward a peaceful existence.
 
Brandy (Missouri) PDF Print E-mail
 
I am a 32 year old wife and mother of 2 children.  I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.  I love the way that saying/typing the word "survivor" feels.  At this point in my journey it is a very empowering word, one that I never until recently felt strong enough to use.  My story of abuse started when I was very young, my mother married a pedophile and the grooming process began almost immediately after they met.  Most things were easily overlooked and dismissed for years I was molested and too afraid to tell.  Over time the molesting and sodomy became more excessive and turned into more.  When I was just 8 years old on an afternoon just before Christmas, a man I called "dad" violently raped me.  I was taken to the hospital, and he was taken to prison.  I struggled most of my life with anxiety, drug, alcohol, and sex addiction.  Finally after years of flash backs, nightmares, fear, and out of control acting out, I sought out help and really began to turn my life around.  I married a man who already had a 3 yr. old son, and a few years later we had another child, life seemed great.  Until I received a letter in the mail (on my birthday) that the monster that hurt me would be released from prison and gave a residing address 20 min. from a place I called home for 12 years.  Almost immediately I had a panic attack, then I cried uncontrollably for days.  I was literally paralyzed with fear.  Not only for myself, but "Oh, what about my 8 year old daughter?" I re-lived every minute of my abuse over and over, I became that little girl all over again.  For close to a month this went on and on and on..... Then I was reminded of a card I had been given at an Easter Egg hunt 7 months before, a business card from Pete.  So I called the phone number and spoke with Gretchen from Let Go...Let Peace Come In.  Almost immediately resources were made avaliable to me, I started seeing a therapist, and over time I learned techniques and excercises to not only help me cope with the trauma from my past, but to also be "present" for my future.  Today I feel safe, healthy, happy, and strong..... Wow, what a gift.
 
I am truly thankful,  So Very Thankful for this foundation.  For all of the people that saw in me what I couldn't.
And for the opportunity to become who I am.  I hope to give back some of what I've been given.  Today.
 
Mark (New Jersey, United States) PDF Print E-mail

 

My name is Mark and this is a testimonial for the wonderful help that I received from the “Let Go... Let Peace Come In” foundation.  At fifty years of age, my life had become unmanageable. I couldn’t deal with any stress or conflict. I felt like I had to remove myself from everyone, as anything said to me was becoming emotionally painful to me. It got so bad that I began living under a highway overpass like a homeless man. I knew something was wrong but was not able to explain it to anyone or even understand it myself. I started therapy at my wife’s insistence even though we were no longer living together. In my initial eight therapy sessions, I had a therapist ask me if I had any history of sexual abuse in my childhood. I firmly said no, as I did not, then (nor do I now) have any recollection of such history in my past. He asked me to check with family members, and sure enough, both of my sisters confirmed that all three of us had a six year long experience with a man who tortured us, sexually abused us, and constantly threatened to kill us. A man who lived in our house….

 

I was dumbfounded and to this day wish to deny that anything like this ever happened to me. I, however, seem to exhibit many of the classic behaviors of a childhood sex abuse survivor. I began looking for a new therapist as my initial therapy became much too expensive. I was at the Starting Point in Collingswood, NJ one evening when I heard a talk given by Annie with Peter P. in attendance. I heard about the book and the web site that Peter created and signed on to the web site immediately. I read the book and related to Peter so much, I became convinced that my sisters were telling me the truth, even if my parents denied it ever happened.

 

I began to write about my feelings, my ongoing lack of self worth, my inability to maintain a relationship with anyone, my suicidal tendencies… and I saw that I could post them on the LGLPCI web site. I started looking through the web site’s list of therapists and realized that there were people near me with some level of experience and could be of help to me.
I wrote my story for the first time and the foundation allowed me to post it on their web site. They were also gracious enough to offer therapy with Annie, at no expense for me.
Annie and the foundation were so important as I started down this road of self discovery. I cannot emphasize enough how much I needed them. I am still in therapy. I will be for a long time, but that initial few months were so critical that I feel blessed to have had their support. I can say that I am now much less afraid of hurting myself, that I feel more in control of my emotions, and can work every day at my job, without feeling like I am having a nervous breakdown. I still have no recollections of what happened, and maybe that’s best,  for now, I am able to make it through, one day at a time, and I credit Annie and the foundation for getting me to this point. I no longer live outdoors, and I am trying to embrace a new life with less pain, hurt, and confusion…I tell everyone I meet about the foundation, the web site, and the list of resources available to those looking for help…
 
Thank you to Annie, who explained about the people who live inside of me…and that little boy that I now have to console….
Thank you to the Foundation, who allowed me the opportunity to talk to someone like Annie.. it was priceless…
Thank you to Peter, who wrote about himself, and touched me so deeply…..
 
Maureen (Bucks County, PA) PDF Print E-mail
My sexual abuse was a suppressed memory. It wasn't until high school when I became sexually active that the memory of my attack resurfaced. My attacker was my uncle. I was around 4 or 5 years old. Although I have always remembered the sexual encounter I experienced with my cousin (my attacker's son) as a 7 year old. This I always knew was wrong, but didn't understand why I was even curious to try. We both decided to try when we were playing house. I was the "mom" and he was the "dad". Neither one of us till this day ever mention it to each other.
Once the memory of my attack resurfaced, I have always felt betrayed, sad, scared, weak, angry all the time, DIRTY AND WORTHLESS. Along with these feelings deep inside I always felt like I needed a man in my life or their attention. I felt as though I always had to please them. I never had the strength to say NO. I would want to, but couldn't. Mostly because I feared what would happen  to me if I had said no. I even felt this way with men I was in long-term relationships with. I have always picked a man who was emotionally unavailable. I felt I had to HELP THEM. I became a very co-dependent person. Whenever my relationships failed I would always become promiscuous with the help of alcohol. I didn't care about the consequences, I just needed to fill the pain and void inside. I would turn to alcohol so I would feel more comfortable. I was having unprotected sex. Sometimes with complete strangers. I would drink so much that the next morning I wouldn't even remember the sexual encounter ever occurring.
I have kept my sexual abuse a complete secret. No one knew my darkest secret till the Fall of 2009. I started to feel it was okay to tell somebody about my abuse when I read a manuscript that was sitting on John's(my ex) table. The manuscript was about a man's childhood sexual abuse trauma (CSA) and his road to recovery. The manuscript's author was my friend Peter, the founder of Let Go, Let Peace Come In foundation. Peter's story touched my soul so deep and I admired him for finding the strength to even tell someone his story. As I have mentioned before, I have never told anyone about my abuse. I felt like it was my fault, alone, and dirty.
Peter told me about the LGLPCI foundation and gave me the contact number to a counselor/therapist, Annie, of The Starting Point. The LGLPCI foundation subsidized 30 sessions for me to begin my road to recovery of CSA. Together Annie and Allie(therapist of EMDR) have changed my life tremendously. I am still the same person I have always been, just a better, stronger version of myself. By my last session with Allie, I felt that pain and void deep inside disappear. Allie left me with the affirmation: I embrace my sexuality, it is an expression of my health, wholeness, and worthiness. I say this to myself everyday!!!! I know now I am not at fault for what has happened to me or for the impact my attack has had on me. My perpetrator is at fault and the cause. My sessions at the Starting Point has taught me and reminded me I am WORTHWHILE!
My sexual abuse was a suppressed memory. It wasn't until high school when I became sexually active that the memory of my attack resurfaced. My attacker was my uncle. I was around 4 or 5 years old. Although I have always remembered the sexual encounter I experienced with my cousin (my attacker's son) as a 7 year old. This I always knew was wrong, but didn't understand why I was even curious to try. We both decided to try when we were playing house. I was the "mom" and he was the "dad". Neither one of us till this day ever mention it to each other.

Once the memory of my attack resurfaced, I have always felt betrayed, sad, scared, weak, angry all the time, DIRTY AND WORTHLESS. Along with these feelings deep inside I always felt like I needed a man in my life or their attention. I felt as though I always had to please them. I never had the strength to say NO. I would want to, but couldn't. Mostly because I feared what would happen  to me if I had said no. I even felt this way with men I was in long-term relationships with. I have always picked a man who was emotionally unavailable. I felt I had to HELP THEM. I became a very co-dependent person. Whenever my relationships failed I would always become promiscuous with the help of alcohol. I didn't care about the consequences, I just needed to fill the pain and void inside. I would turn to alcohol so I would feel more comfortable. I was having unprotected sex. Sometimes with complete strangers. I would drink so much that the next morning I wouldn't even remember the sexual encounter ever occurring.

I have kept my sexual abuse a complete secret. No one knew my darkest secret till the Fall of 2009. I started to feel it was okay to tell somebody about my abuse when I read a manuscript that was sitting on John's(my ex) table. The manuscript was about a man's childhood sexual abuse trauma (CSA) and his road to recovery. The manuscript's author was my friend Peter, the founder of Let Go, Let Peace Come In foundation. Peter's story touched my soul so deep and I admired him for finding the strength to even tell someone his story. As I have mentioned before, I have never told anyone about my abuse. I felt like it was my fault, alone, and dirty.

Peter told me about the LGLPCI foundation and gave me the contact number to a counselor/therapist, Annie, of The Starting Point. The LGLPCI foundation subsidized 30 sessions for me to begin my road to recovery of CSA. Together Annie and Allie(therapist of EMDR) have changed my life tremendously. I am still the same person I have always been, just a better, stronger version of myself. By my last session with Allie, I felt that pain and void deep inside disappear. Allie left me with the affirmation: I embrace my sexuality, it is an expression of my health, wholeness, and worthiness. I say this to myself everyday!!!! I know now I am not at fault for what has happened to me or for the impact my attack has had on me. My perpetrator is at fault and the cause. My sessions at the Starting Point has taught me and reminded me I am WORTHWHILE!
 
Gary L. (New Jersey, United States) PDF Print E-mail
I was a child raised in over 23 foster homes and 16 institutions before the age of 16. In those years, I suffered sexual, physical, mental and emotional abuse from countless individuals. I knew it was wrong and I knew that was not the way it should be, but after some time, I began to accept abuse from everyone that knew me.
Instead of telling anyone about how I felt or what was going on, I turned to heavy drug and alcohol use and then ran at the age of 16; and have been running ever since.
At the age of 17 I discovered prostitution. This role seem to fit well with what I expected from everyone because the only reason they wanted to love me was because they would get something in return. That was the way it would be until I was 24.  I was in a very abusive relationship with a woman and we had a child. The inevitable happened, she left me and took the baby. I was crushed and went on a drinking and drug binge. I found myself at one point wanting to kill myself, so in a desperate move, I went to the Emergency room of Jefferson Hospital. I was not able or willing to understand most of what they were saying but they did make me go to AA meetings. Hence the start of a very long recovery process in and out of the rooms of AA.
25 years later, and after 3 more lost, long term relationships ruined, I found myself back to square one again; wanting to kill myself, nowhere to go, my wife taking the children and nowhere to turn. This time, with much of a fight in me still, I was willing to try the recovery process once again, though the results I have seen and the pain I have been willing to endure have been profound. I owe everything to the the Let Go Let Peace Come in Foundation and thank them for helping me receive trauma therapy sessions that put me on my road to recovery and for helping me become the man I was put on this earth to be.  Those sessions made me realize I was previously treating the “symptoms” of alcohol and drug addiction and not the core issue of my sexual abuse.  I am now more willing to listen and learn than in any other time in my life. I was introduced to the Let Go Let Peace Come in Foundation by Vince DiPasquale, the founder of The Starting Point.  Through that contact with Vince, I received 30 subsidized trauma therapy counseling sessions from the LGLPCI Foundation. I did not know how much it would change my life.
Thanks to the financial subsidy from the LGLPCI Foundation I have been in counseling sessions and I have been able to see the traumas in my life and how they impacted everything I do; the people I pick for relationships, how distorted my view on life is, and most of all, how bankrupt my heart and soul had become. I am just starting out but the results have been, like I said, very dramatic. I am very blessed to have the counseling I need to grow and live like a human maybe for the first time in my life. I thank whole heartedly the Let Go Let Peace Come in Foundation for everything they have done for me and for helping me connect how the sexual, physical, mental, and emotional abuse affected every facet of my life.   I look forward to continuing my journey through the process of recovery.
I was a child raised in over 23 foster homes and 16 institutions before the age of 16. In those years, I suffered sexual, physical, mental and emotional abuse from countless individuals. I knew it was wrong and I knew that was not the way it should be, but after some time, I began to accept abuse from everyone that knew me.

Instead of telling anyone about how I felt or what was going on, I turned to heavy drug and alcohol use and then ran at the age of 16; and have been running ever since.
At the age of 17 I discovered prostitution. This role seem to fit well with what I expected from everyone because the only reason they wanted to love me was because they would get something in return. That was the way it would be until I was 24.  I was in a very abusive relationship with a woman and we had a child. The inevitable happened, she left me and took the baby. I was crushed and went on a drinking and drug binge. I found myself at one point wanting to kill myself, so in a desperate move, I went to the Emergency room of Jefferson Hospital. I was not able or willing to understand most of what they were saying but they did make me go to AA meetings. Hence the start of a very long recovery process in and out of the rooms of AA.

25 years later, and after 3 more lost, long term relationships ruined, I found myself back to square one again; wanting to kill myself, nowhere to go, my wife taking the children and nowhere to turn. This time, with much of a fight in me still, I was willing to try the recovery process once again, though the results I have seen and the pain I have been willing to endure have been profound. I owe everything to the the Let Go Let Peace Come in Foundation and thank them for helping me receive trauma therapy sessions that put me on my road to recovery and for helping me become the man I was put on this earth to be.  Those sessions made me realize I was previously treating the “symptoms” of alcohol and drug addiction and not the core issue of my sexual abuse.  I am now more willing to listen and learn than in any other time in my life. I was introduced to the Let Go Let Peace Come in Foundation by Vince DiPasquale, the founder of The Starting Point.  Through that contact with Vince, I received 30 subsidized trauma therapy counseling sessions from the LGLPCI Foundation. I did not know how much it would change my life.

Thanks to the financial subsidy from the LGLPCI Foundation I have been in counseling sessions and I have been able to see the traumas in my life and how they impacted everything I do; the people I pick for relationships, how distorted my view on life is, and most of all, how bankrupt my heart and soul had become. I am just starting out but the results have been, like I said, very dramatic. I am very blessed to have the counseling I need to grow and live like a human maybe for the first time in my life. I thank whole heartedly the Let Go Let Peace Come in Foundation for everything they have done for me and for helping me connect how the sexual, physical, mental, and emotional abuse affected every facet of my life.   I look forward to continuing my journey through the process of recovery.